Meow Meow is a dirty butter licker.

Today, I felt like cooking. I have been eating sandwiches and drinking coffee for way too long. I will always love a sandwich. I spied a recipe for Vegetarian Shepard's Pie a long time ago and have wanted to make it. I love me some Shepard's pie. I used to be a Vegetarian for years..but now I eat mostly vegetarian. I can't handle cooking meat but I will eat the fuck out of it if we are in a restaurant or at your house. 'Cept for pork and beef. Ew and yuck .
Here is the recipe Vegetarian Shepard's Pie I added more peas and less onion. And I chop things real lazy like. It was delish! Way too heavy for summer eatin' but yumtastic all the same.
I also made those Peanut Buttah Cookies again. By accident. I was going to make some peanut butter bars but was looking at the wrong page and had to move forward with the cookies again. This time I added more PB so that I can continue getting chubbier. Me and my goals. I haven't any pictures because my camera battery charger is still missing so here is MooBoiBoi instead.

Let's talk about you. For like a minute.

Tell me about you, dear sweet internet friends.
Tell me something random or funny.
Tell me how much you hate me. Make sure it's anonymous. Wouldn't want to leave any hate trails.
I would really love to hear from my one adoring fan. I haven't told anyone I know in my non blogging life that I have a bloggity. I'm weird.
In the meantime let us gaze upon the beauty that is Meow Meow Kitty Girl.

Homeward bound. Not at all like the Simon and Garfunkel song.

                                      Dick in a box. Because he later ate too much catnip and pissed in it. 

Where in the goddamn hell is my camera battery charger? I'm dying! I'm dying because I can't find it! I have been organizing and rearranging this house like a biznitch and can't show ya'll any pictures of anything. Sob. I even have missed out on ultra adorable cat pictures.
I have so many plans for this crib. Hopefully, my would be roomie doesn't flake out on me and I'm forced to move last minute.
I am homeward bound because I haven't any motivation to go anywhere these past couple of days. Yesterday, I had the day off and I spent it in silence with the groggiest of brains. Effin allergies.
Today I am more motivated. This house is closing in on me. With all its clutter and poorly painted walls.
I know what would make me feel better. A party! A party full of treats and boozy bevs!
In the meantime if you live in the Mpls area. Contact me. So I can unload my crap upon you.

This is just too funny to me.

Thanks to this website..Befunky.. I can exploit Meow And Moo even more! Cackle!

NOTHING is funnier than seeing pictures of your cats cartooned at 1:30 in the am. Disclaimer: I am totally sober.

It's fun to do for like 5 minutes and then

you realize it would be more fun if you

paid for the membership. I already

spend enough time on this devilbox as

it is...so no paid for fun, for this girl..

Home. A list.

Source: I forget. Help a sistah out. 

List Time! Oh how I love a list!

This one is dedicated to all the shiz I want to do and buy for the criblet.

1. Paint all or most of the walls white. This needs to be met with landlords approval. 

2. Get a new/old love seat.

3. Give away stripey chairs but keep ottoman. Its a cat bed now. 

4.Organize the kitchen. 

5. Glass jars for storage in the kitchen. 

6. Curtains for kitchen.

7. New bookshelf. The "Billy" isn't cutting it anymore. 

8. Make back yard pretty. 

9. New TV stand. 

10. New coffee table. 

11. Re pot plants.

12. Get new plants. I love plants. 

13. New shower curtain. 

14. Organize bedroom. 

15. Get air purifier. 

16. New dining room table? Because current one is birch-y colored and I want mid century beautifulness? 

17. New curtains for Dining room. 

18. New artwork. Especially for dining room. 

19. Cute cat bed. 

20. Shoe storage.

21. More lamps. Why it gotta be so dark in here? Dang. 

As I have stated before, I want white walls and a more Danish like feel. Please, please Rajiv let me paint the walls. PLEASE! 

Please refer to this link for my dream home..this is just one of the many homes I have bookmarked...Lisa and Clay's Artsy and Calm Collaboration.

Smoochybears.

Whoa. Everything is comin' up roses, ya'll. Besides school trying to fuck me over. But I will go visit with them on Tuesday. I will dress non slutty and be extremely cheerful and understanding. That is the ONLY way to handle the financial aid department at MCTC.
I am really enjoying the deli job. I seriously have a million laughs. The work is physically draining. Standing on your feet for like 11 hours straight isn't the most awesome and the working until 5 in the morning sucks dick but I have a lot of fun and it's so stress free compared to working with toddlers and teachers.
I have really been craving cigarettes,though. The deli also sells a cheesecake that I want to take home and make love to. Me and my gluttony.
I heard from a co worker that an ex boyfriend of mine works at the bar closest to my house that I've never been to. Because it is pretty mullet friendly. I wonder if he would want to see me. I'm kinda taking it as a sign that I should go see him. It could be horrible or it could be fantastic.
My landlord smokes so much that my apartment constantly reeks of cigs. That's prob why I've been craving them.
I think I am gonna sweet talk the lord of the land into letting me paint. For that I will for sure have to show some cleavage. Cleavage makes him very uncomfortable and agreeable.

Me and Moocifer enjoy a cuddle.

Gangsta Rap.

Meow Meow laying on my old coat with Mickey Moo enjoying a rest in the window. This is the closest I have seen them get to each other in years.
They both have been obsessed with me lately.
Also, what is those black cords doing hanging in front of the window? 

Smellin like sandwiches.

This picture has nothing to do with this post. But look at hims! Hims cute!

 It is hard for me not to be bitter about people I know that are lucky enough to have parents to loan or give
them money.I mostly get angry because the friends I have that do get money from the parentals are kinda assholes. I feel that if you are an asshole you shouldn't get free money.
I have to work at a preschool AND a fucking deli to pay my bills because my parents are poorer than me.
Sometimes I want to be like "Parents. I just want you to know that you pretty much fucked me over when you decided to not ever become rich or even middle class"..
But coming from a poor background gives me a lot of street cred. I impress people with stories of poverty and hardship..especially since now I am such a prissy ass bitch.
Working hard does make me a stronger person. I totally believe that.
I hope those fucks that get free money put their parents in some classy nursing home. You know, one that doesn't smell like death, canary poop and old people piss..

Sneak peekers.

Here are pictures of the living room. Pretend the hideous box fan isn't there and also pretend there is adequate lighting. There isn't an overhead light and I have only two lamps because I need to spray paint some lamps. Ignore the mess. I am Spring cleanin' like a mofo. The paint colors are atrocious. In order to repaint there is so much patching and sanding to do, it would be ridiculous.
The kitchen is liquid baby poop green. I want it to be a light blue or white. I would also like more storage. ! want a vintage pill poppin' 50s housewife feel.
The bathroom is a dull gray color. It angers me. Nothing matches with the paint color. I did try to mix white accessories with the gray but I hated it and would brush my teeth extra hard out of anger.  The gray has like bluish, purplish hues. Uck. I would like to paint it a neutral tone like white because the natural lighting in there sucks.. I would also like to make it more girly. Because I am a girl.
The dining room would be so awesome as white. It has an orange wall and the other walls are yellow. But a lighter yellow than the golden yellow in the living room. If I could I would replace the nasty ass ceiling fan that gives horrible lighting. Sigh.
The living room also has a burnt sienna wall that drives me fucking bonkers. If it were up to me I would just paint all the walls a bright white and have a beautiful Danish mid century modern home. The thought gives me a design boner.






                                                                                                                                                                                    

It is hot. Like Hell.

Lately, I have been wearing a lot of (okay, the three I own) strapless maxi dresses. I love them. No tan line. Feels like a nightgown. Covers up the tree trunks. I do have one problem.

When I take Self portraits I look nakey. I am not the kinda girl that purposely takes nakey pictures of herself. I did once for a boyfriend. Later, I went to his apartment which he shared with an asshole roommate and there was my boobs on the floor. Embarrassing.

Also, look at the picture to my left. Why aren't your eyes open, Jen? Is it because you drank vodka sours and PBR's? Or are you drunk and trying to be sultry? Prob both.
 

Look at the picture to the right. It is featured in another post because my peepers were all swollen from allergies. I do love my fake glasses from Urban Outfittahs. My friends make fun of me but whenever I wear them I like to think I look European or some shit.
Mostly, this post is to let ya'll know that I know that sometimes I look whorey. I'm cool wid it.

Maybe I was lying.

Uh. My landlord came downstairs to speak with me. He wants me to stay. Brother is moving in with girlfriend. I was gonna get my own crib and boom! Here comes Raj with all these ideas. He can be nice and he is hilarious. He wants me to stay and find a roommate. Raj will move to his St Paul home and rent a room upstairs. Mostly, he said in case he needs a place to pass out .He will be traveling and trying to get a job(s)..He is some sort of dude on movie sets. I think he just drives trucks around for them..He worked on the movie A Serious Man. I loved that movie.

Anyhoo, I asked my homies Karla and Scotty. Scotty seems like a sure thing but he has to find a job first. Karla is kinda iffy because she was excited to get her own crib. 

It sucks that I will be stuck with these colorful ass walls. 

I hope it works out. Although, I was uber excited about new digs I am more excited to not have to move. Paying for application fees, calling around, packing and moving..Ugh..moving sucks so bad. Especially when you are a girl like me that doesn't own a car or know how to drive. I know. I'm helpless. 

I emailed Scotty pictures and a brief description. He is hating his life in Fargo and wants out. I understand. That was me 8 years ago. 

Hopefully, my cats won't poop on his bed. 

Cleaning Haus.

Babes.
At the end of the summah I will be moving into a sweet new crib. By myself. With my kittencats. I can't wait to be brother less and without a weirdo landlord living above me. We have lived here almost three years and that is the longest I have ever lived in one place, counting my childhood.
I have a sort of a wishlist for new criblet.

1. Hardwood floors.
2. Tons of sunlight and windows.
3. Laundry on site. ( I ain't got one of them car thingies)
4. Safe and secure.
5. Closets.
6. Ample storage in the kitch.
7. Somewhere for the kitties poopbox that isn't visible to guests. Mickey drops bombs,ya'll..
8. Close to the deli and on busline for school and preschool jobby job..
9. Ceiling fans or an A/C would be the shiznit.
10. Quiet. ( within reason)
11. Close to some shops and food places.
12. Non hipster neighborhood.
13. A balcony would be so rad but kinda rare in Uptown.
14. Close to at least one bar.
15. Quirks and character.
16. Dishwasher would be fab but I can live without one. Barely.

I kinda think I need to see one a couple blocks from my current home. It's available for September. But it is still in my sketchy neighborhood. But I kinda like living in sketchy neighborhoods. And you can find danger anywhere. Even in the safe neighborhoods.
Hopefully, I could paint the place too but I have been having huge boners over white walls. I will be posting pictures soon of my ghetto mansion. The landlord picked the wall colors. At first I liked it but now it's a battle to not have TOO much color. Plus, it is very horribly painted. Whomever painted it was high on meth and couldn't keep a straight line or give a fuck about quality. Effing methheads.
I am still finding stuff to get rid of even after yard sale of the century!
Keep your eyes peeled.

                                .Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know you never tried to bite your cats head off

My Favorite Songs May 24th

Fever Ray- If I had a Heart Fever Ray? I love you. So much.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros- Home I know errbody prob already knows this song but I can't get enough!

Pj Harvey and John Parish- Black Hearted Love Someone is one day gonna perform this song and dedicate it to me. One day.

Barrington Levy- Here I come Bootys be poppin'

Yuksek featuring Amanda Blank- Extraball I don't get the meaning and I don't have to! Dance!

Honeycakes.

I think I am gonna love or at least like the new job. Old job still sucks a fat one. I should look for a jobby at another preschool but I like the fact that where I work is a "back up" center..which means people bring their kidlets there whenever their usual caregiver fails them by being closed or on maternity leave etc...
Whatves.
After deli working I met K Sauce and Dr Random for some drinks at the Herkimer. We then went to Jason and Kate's where we found an extremely drunk brother and Jason..They had a "Wizard Staff" party where they duct taped PBR cans on top of each other to resemble the staff of a wizard.
Today was spent babysitting and going to "church" (Green Mill happy hour) and having a water balloon fight.

Friday I was sad and dramatic.
Saturday things were looking better.
Sunday everything will be just fine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kCoZls-DTg&feature=autofb

Whoa.

Holy fucksauce party peeps. I got off work at midnight..came home, ate more cookies, texted late night friends and took a Zyrtec..Dude! I slept the sleep of the dead and drugged up til 2:20pm!
Where the hell did my day go? Oh. That's right. I was dreaming of making sandwiches and house fires..
F you Zyrtec! I am NEVER taking you again!
I could of slept longer but when I checked the time I pretty much fell out of bed. Now I am groggy as fuck. Thank BuddhaBabyJesus that I have been making the iced coffee concentrate recipe I found a long time ago from How About Orange..here's the iced coffee recipe...Make it. So easy. So wonderful. So magical.
Now I am a puddle of flesh on the couch. I work at 6pm. Ugh.
Work shmerk.
                                           Here is a picture of Moo workin'

Allergic.

              


Bizzos. This spring has been kicking my ass allergy wise. So bad. I've had the swollen, itchy eyes, the runny nose with sneezing, tiredness and my nose gets itchy. How pretty. I am not one of those folks that ever go to the doctor so I self medicate my ass off. The dust mites and tree pollen have been giving me the beating of a lifetime. People mowing their lawns also fucks me over.
Natural remedies haven't worked so much for me. The homeopathic shiz, I mean.. I am supposed to eat local honey everyday and that is gonna help. I really need to start doing that.
Allergy medicine either doesn't work or if it works it makes me a sleepyhead that is totally worthless at living.
I am such a dork that I keep track of the pollen count. Via Weather.com.
I am probably too sexy for you.
 Tried the Neti pot and it helps.
 Zyrtec works but it makes me so sweepy!
Could see an allergist and get those shots that may or may not work. Eesh. Maybe they have some hardcore drugs that crack me out instead of make me lethargic?
I went to Apartment Therapy to find these gems Window pollen screen thingies. and these Helpful hints.
My next apartment will for sure have hardwood floors and those window screen things. I also need to get another mattress cover for my featherbed. Or a new comfy bed so that I don't need a featherbed. Stinkin' featherbed and it's inability to be laundered.
It is about damn time I get an air purifier or two.
It sucks because advice is to stay indoors and keep windows closed but it's too beautiful out...
Grr.
In the meantime I will listen to jams like these Mf Doom and read blogs all day. Bra less.

First Day at Second Job.

Fucking sucked, At first. At first I wanted to give up. But then I remembered giving up is for pussies so Itried to make the best of it. I felt so awkward. That is what made it suck so bad..was that I felt so awkward..but I know I am super sensitive and have made many Anti Jenny ideas swirl in my head and they were unfounded. That makes me sound like I have a personality disorder..
The people I work with are cool. And I work with like 4 people I had worked with 5 years ago. Going back to a job that provides more bad memories than good is the hardest thing I have had to do in 2010.
But I am grateful to have two jobs. I am stoked that I will be rolling in the dough.
I got a good lead on a new cheap apartment. Karla wants to check them out too..and Leah already lives there. Karla said it would be a "cat lady community"..
I did get hit on in the store and flirted with on the phone. I am awesome at customer service. I really am. I can fake happy and enthusiasm like a motherfucker.
I am gonna miss my kitties with all this working.

Shoppy shop shoppin'..

Are you effing kidding me? I found this website Calico via one of the bazillion blogs I read in the a.m..It hurts to look at it because I want to shop so bad. And this blog? Shiny Squirrel? Gave me a billion boners for shopping.
Sigh.
I need a rich husband. Shit. At this point I would even take on a rich wifey.
My life keeps raining shit bricks on me but if I focus on that shiz I get nowhere.
People love me and I have two cats. My problems have solutions.
I should be more grateful.
For your listening and viewing pleasure.
Velvet morning.

My bedroom. A story with no ending.

For these chairs..My friend Erin gave them to me for free..she had found them and had every intention of making them over but gave up..
We tried selling them at the yard sale. Some lady that was huge and wearing kelly green sweatpants with a mustache balked when I told her the price was 2 dollars per chair..she heaved herself back into her minivan..I didn't know how dirty they were and Erin had left for the longest liquor store run ever..I'm glad I was stupid though because now these chairs are mine! I want to redo one for living/dining room and one for my cat lady bedroom. I am on the hunt for fabric! I checked out Crafty Planet which is near Kristen's crib..I need to check out everything in person. I am also gonna check out the secondhand shops and yard sales for some gems.

vintage bedspread with vintage Moo

My bedroom is pink,yellow, grey,brown and white..I got the bedding from DwellStudio at Target..I love it so much. In all the years I have been a' living on my own I have NEVER had the bedroom I wanted. I thought green and yellow with white? Nope. Brown birds(more DwellStudio) but the blanket caught fire in the dryer, then mustard yella with turquoise? Nope. I even painted furniture turquoise and am in the process of painting it white. I bought a mint green and peach vintage bedspread and was gonna go that route but could find nothing to match! Most of the problems stemmed from the fact that I have shared bedrooms with 4 boyfriends. I know. What a whore. I tried ti keep their dudeness in mind and now as a single lady I am all "fuck you" I want a bedroom that is beautiful and feminine because I am a LADY!

I have kinda put a hold on this bedroom redo, because I will be moving soon and my current bedroom is so fucked. No closet just two huge unmatching broken ass wardrobes that are barely functional and a Malm dresser. All my landlords. Plus my bed, my dresser and one teeny nightstand. I get claustrophobic. I have been sleeping on the couch because my room is so messy and closing in on me..
Stay tuned for bedroom updates as I will be trying to find and fix things before the BIG MOVE (read in a deep announcer type voice)

Domesticated.

 Today is spent cleaning the crib from drunken yard sales, hangovers, migraines and kittylovin'..I am also baking some yum yum for your tum tum cookies..
Okay, I mostly spent the day interneting while talking on the phone and then had a work meeting at 5:30 but I did make some yum city cookies...
Hopefully somebody will eat some or my ass will continue on its expansion..
Here's the recipe: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
You are probably not that impressed. Notice minimal ingredients. Also note that I suck at cooking and baking but at least give it a try. Whimper.
They were delish for being flour free. Gluten intolerant peeps would appreciate them. I used crunchy peanut buttah because creamy is for wussies..
I should of used 1 cup of brown sugar. I don't know why. I just think it makes them seem fancier. I did almost burn a batch because I was having a gossip fest with my girl, Rhiannon.
My parents ALWAYS overbaked cookies so that nearly burnt batch I kept and thought about the fam while I ate one..
I didn't add any walnuts. I have some but didn't want to get all nut crazy.
Try them. Or not.
Also, if  I'm making cookies Meow Meow is probably watchin'..

Moo Moo! You're gross!

Smoochies.

 The sun is shining on me today! Financial situation still blows but I start at the deli tomorrow..I made a grand total of about 50 bucks at yard sale and donated so much shiz to Salvation Army..

This weekend me and Kristen went to Art a Whirl and visited the California Building! I would post a link but the website is kinda vague..its a 6 story building designed for artists to rent studios..Some of the art was so effing lame(dots on a canvas and call it "Path"? Uck) but most of it was very inspiring. You just really gotta not give a fuck what others think to make your art. Later we went to the 331 Club to hear bands play. Some nerdy dude insisted I was an artist that made "gypsy jewelry"..based on what I was wearing..I was looking fly as fuck but I wasn't wearing any jewelry..

Later we went to Mcdonalds to use the bathroom( some meanie budged in front of us in the bathroom line at the bar so I told everybody its cuz she had to poop so bad) At Mcdonalds they had a cat shrine! It didn't make any sense and it was totally awesome!
Later we went to some other bar where I danced a dance with the devil known as Jameson Irish whiskey and my night slowly fell apart as I got wasted and retarded, Sigh.

Lucky for me not so lucky for him my friend Eric escorted me back to his house to bring me home and we saw this weird light up Jesus house someone had in their yard.
The next day I was mildly hungover but decided to join the friends for some LynLake block party fun..

So many people to watch! Har Mar Superstar played. I love him and his sexy funny funk. We decided to call Miles "Dr.Random" because he is random as hell, and completely ridiculous. He almost got bitten by a rainbow colored dog and it would of been all his fault.
Hipsters everywhere.

Funny photo. Of me.

 Maybe you can see the self tanning debacle on me chinny chin? Or the fact that what I thought was a sexy picture of my bad self turned instead to a picture that would provide friends with endless amusement because yet again I have a '"nostrils shot"..
Fucking nostrils. Fucking self tanning debacle...

Sigh.

My life can suck a dick right now. I am more screwed than I thought. Thankfully, I have friends like Kristen and Miles to help me feel better.
We had planned on going toArt O Whirl tonight but turns out this evening was just for nerds. And not ironic nerds either. We met their friends Luke and Jess and dog Daisy..Jess and Luke have the cutest house in Northeast. It was built in 1912 and was so awesome. I was totally jealous and told them so like 12 times. I wish I could take pictures. The bathrooms! To die for! The black leather inherited from grandma mid century couch!
Mickey Moo smells so bad right now. Like dead rotting fish that have been left in a pile to rot and the pile is constantly added to with more dead rotting nasty ass fish..and then somebody pooped near the pile of dead stinkin' fish guts..and the poop bakes in the hot sun adding to the smell..That's what MM's breath smells like .I would shove his nastiness away but I just got home after being gone for awhile and Mama feels bad for her babykittyheart but damn he stinks!
Anyhoo, after hanging with Jess, Luke and Daisy we went back to the crib and just talked and talked..and watched AFV..Miles kinda snoozed as Miles is wont to do..
Mickey just burped and the mushroom cloud of stink just made me seriously gag.
I can't write anymore. Dammit Moo.
Yard Sale tomorrow. Yay?

Buying Ass Bitch.

Man, I love to swear.

Here are things that as soon as I can lift the shopping ban I will joyfully purchase...

New smells. 

New glasses!

Pretty sure I want every single one.

Shoesies

I would look hot as hell in this dress. Fact.
Blue floral and cheap? Gimme.
I am obsessed with floral maxi dresses.
Imagine that I have a golden fake tan.
Steve Madden kills me sometimes.
Sometimes cheesy. But gems can be found.

There is a ton more shiz I would love buy but looking for stuff gave me a boner for shopping so its best I don't continue. 

I love shopping. I love it so bad. Shopping loves me too, I can tell by the way it looks at me..

Hey. Can you eat some shit please?

 It has been rainy in Minneapolis for what seems like months. I like rain. But this is worthless cold ass rain. My allergies get really bad when it rains. Serious. I don't know why and nobody believes me. Boofuckinghoo. This nonstop rainy weather plus my current financial situation makes for a very grumpy girl. And by grumpy I mean bitchy. And by bitchy I mean raging Cbag..Yesterday I was walking, late for work all Benadryled up and this HUGE old guy decided as he blows his nose into a giant hankie he is gonna not look down at the little people and walked into me. Normally, I would just give him a tight smile and have mean eyes but this time I shouted " What the FUCK?" at him and scampered off..
Two girls at my work make me want to bite their heads off and spit them out. At their now headless bodies writhing on the floor in a pool of blood..
My current financial situation is to blame for my pissy attitude. Normally, I am quite positive and approach things that anger me with a bemused, sarcastic attitude..

I don't know when the fuck I am gonna start second job. The owner is flaky as fuck. Me and the Tick are going to donate plasma today. I don't mind being poor but I HATE worrying about paying rent. That is my big worry. That my rent won't get paid and I will get evicted. My landlord hates me because he hates women and he wants to move into my apartment when our lease is up.
I have places to go if that happens but would really rather not deal with moving for no reason and couch hopping with my kitty loves would suck balls.
I am taking the steps to improve my life (second job, applying for a full time position at my teaching job, budgeting, donating plasma, babysitting) so everything will work out but in the meantime I will complain via a blog I haven't told anybody I write.

Meow Meow Kitty Girl Princess of KittyGirl Island.

I have a cat named Meow Meow Kitty Girl.
I've had her for like 4 yrs now...
She used to live outside under the porch of my old apartment building. For months. The neighbors below us used to keep out a bowl of Friskies for her on the steps. She would meow and meow. Meow Meow used to be distant and weird and very bitey. My ex boo brought her inside one day and it pissed me off. I was allergic to cats and he brought her in without telling me. I felt bad for her though..One time it was raining and she was yowling for hours. That was the first time I ever knew of her. I dreamed of her that night killing me.
She didn't want to be adopted by us then. She still wanted to be free..but when it was getting colder and we let her in she decided to stay.
She was very standoffish and would hide as she slept. Meow Meow also did not want to be named "Gypsy" as I had originally planned. I put a "Found Kitty" ad on Craigslist when we found out she was homeless and living under the porch but never heard anything. I used to see a grey cat in a window I walked by..I saw the apartment was empty once and wonder if that was Meow Meow's former home? Was I walking by the future love of my life for months without knowing?
Meow Meow came to love me but pretty much hated my boyfriend. Me and the boyfriend would fight constantly, Meow would come cuddle with me and purr as I sobbed my heart out. She still liked to go outside and would even go outside in the winter! I would look for her by calling "Kitty, kitty meow meow" and follow her paw prints in the snow. She would come running.
The sucktastical boyfriend and I broke up and we moved apart. I moved in with a friend who ended up being a cokehead. Me and Meow were treated like shit and only had each other. I seriously only had her at that point in my life. Those 6 months were spent with me on the couch and Meow Meow on my tummy. I moved away from cokehead whorehound into another apartment. And another and another. Meow has lived with two ex boyfriends, two ex friends and my brother since we've met. We have this strange bond. My brother says she is my familiar. I told my brother when I die I want her buried with me. The Egyptians did it so I figure I can. That's how my logic works.
I seriously love her so much...as I type this rambling ass post..she is laying on my feet..
Stay tuned for the story of Moo. Meow Meow HATES Moo.

A girl can dream.

All images from Cliche

Le sigh.
I'm on a shopping ban. Big time. So there goes a stunning new summer wardrobe destined to win me so many approving nods and phone numbers from bearded hotties riding fixed gears.
My favorite places to shop for clothes and shoes are Target, Urban shmurban Outfitters, Forever21, H&M and various other places too numerous to mention.
My goal inside my head is to shop more locally at such boutiques as Cliche and secondhand stores. I have been beyond obsessed with florals lately. I have a tendency to dress like a slutty old lady so imagine my glee when florals started popping up everywhere! Eek!
It's a shame it will get too warm for tights. I will have to bare leg it. I HATE my bare ass legs. My calves are super meaty, pale and always banged up.
But I am 30 yrs old now and being 30 yrs old means not caring so much about what people think. I think.
I just hate being self conscious. The only remedy for that is booze.
Every time I go out with bare meat logs I need to be drunk? Hmm. Curious idea.

A list of stuff I need to do.

1. Pay off late bills. Poop.
2. Pay off doctors bills. Fucking doctors.
3. Adhere to budget. Puke.
4. Get a pair or five of brown platform sandals.
5. Find more strapless maxi dresses such as the black floral number I found at Target..
6. More floral. Everywhere.
7. Buy more flowers.
8. Sand and refinish dresser. Or not.
9. Find a new and better apartment.
10. Get hair did.
11. Yard sale. This weekend.
12. Get second job.
13. Ride bike more. Damn rain and cold.
14. Go to beach.
15. Find a pair of black sandals that don't make my cankles look even cankier.
16. Fix wrist tattoo.
17. Get industrial piercing in other ear so that the number of piercings in each ear are even. This bugs me.
18. Register for school. Uck.
19. Drink more water you dehydrated bitch! I just yelled at myself.
20. Get off the caffeine. Again.
21. Buy more records. My collection is so overheard.
22. More secondhand shopping. Damn you Target Downtown.
23. Finally use a Neti Pot. Eek!
24. Draw more.
25. Start AND finish crafts for once!

The post where I confess to needing two jobs.

I got 3 hours of sleep last night. But I functioned better than when I get the recommended.
I work at a preschool downtown. Barely. For the past two months I've been scheduled one or two days a week. I stick with it because they LOVE me there and I will be going full time for the summah.
Sooo I decided I would go crawling back to the hipster ran sub shop I worked at 5 years ago. 5 years ago at that same sub shop I decided I needed to go to college or I would die.
5 years later I'm still in college for a 2 year Child Development degree that can go fuck itself.
I need mo' money because the lease for me and Deerticks shithole apartment with shithole neighbor/landlord is up at the end of August. I'm not living with my brother again. Long story but it involves him being a drunkie drunk and having a bitchy girlfriend. Huh. Guess it wasn't a long story.
I need to get my finances in order and save so much money. Fuck my life. I signed up at http://www.mint.com/ for some financial planning and budgeting. Budget shmudgets.
It will all work out.
I'm excited for apartment hunting but not for moving. Moving blows. I think I may hire someone to do it for me.
Anyway, hope your Monday didn't suck balls.

Mothers Day 2010.

I called my mom like a good daughter.Mama wasn't feeling well so I kept it short. LOVE YOU MOM!  Moo and Meow Meow didn't give a fuck that it was Mothers Day, so I didn't get a present. Ungrateful asshole cats.
Me and the brudder went to my Grandma's, My Grandma lives with my Aunt Roberta who is disabled. Grandma is freakin' hilarious. Bawdy and gossipy. My favorites. Deertick made steaks. YUCK! I was a vegetarian for a total of ten years and have been eating meat for almost a year now. It is very hard for me to eat meat that looks too...meaty? But Grandma gets pissy if you deny the food she makes or buys so I just eat what is served and blog about it later. I hate steak so bad.
The smallest steak that I shared with my cuz turned out to be the rarest. Puke city. I doused it with ketchup but still was almost gagging. Then darling brother Deertick says "You got the pinkest one!' and laughed to himself. He knew I was nervous about steaks.
I ate 3 hot dogs so that I could say I was in a 'hotdog mood" but Grandma didn't even notice that I left most of my steak untouched. I did cut it up in various sized pieces so that she would think I was just truckin' along and had to give up because I was too full.
Fuck steak.
Grandma did insist that I make up a bag of scraps for my kitties. She even put it in the fridge so that it would stay fresh. She is always thinkin' of my cats..her "great grandchildren".
For dessert we had Sugar free pudding (Roberta has the Diabetes) I joked that I would just eat it out of the big bowl it was made in and Roberta said I would need "a big ASS spoon!"...We laughed so hard because the look on Roberta's face after she said a swear was hilarious.
My cousin Stephanie came with her daughter. Makayla was shy around me at first. Her mom said "This is your cousin Jenny. She's not gonna bite you." I said I was going to bite her. A new friendship was formed. Me and Makayla played "Car Dealership". It was awesome.
Hope ya'll had an equally lovely Mothers Day. Whether you were celebrating mothers or not.

This isn't the first time.

I be bloggin'. My other blog got way too personal. Deleted. But I have tons(tons!) of adoring fans that miss my random hilarious musings about daily living. Of course I'm kidding. Mostly.
I love writing but not enough for a book. I thought of writing dirty stories but haven't felt dirty enough as of late.
Plus, the whole world needs to know about my precious kitty loves Moo and Meow Meow.