Catching you all up.

I hadn't realized I sucked at blogging so much. I ignore a lot of shit. My life has changed dramatically. I can't even begin. I only work the one job at the deli. I gave up on college. I gave up on being a teacher. But I have been having way more fun. Living my life. I struggle with what the fuck I should do with my life. I just experienced deja vu. I'm not even kidding.
I mostly just want to be famous and do a bunch of coke by an indoor pool in my kick ass mansion.

Moo is not dead but I hate my life anyway.

    Moo is not dead but looks pissed that I would ever suggest such a thing. Sorry BoiBoi. 

 Remember when I complained about how much I have to work? Well, last night I went to bed at 9 all responsible like...and woke up at 3:20 in the morning because I was worried Moo was dead because he hadn't slept with me all night! Highly unusual. And because I had weird dreams involving 3 friends, and a 7th grade Social Studies teacher. The scenario was that I FORGOT I HAD TO WORK and drank liquid Tylenol Pm's, which isn't even invented as far as I know but should be.
It is now 5:48 in the morning. I tried going back to sleep. No such luck.
FUCK YOU BRAIN!

I'm just warning you...

That I might go crazy. I am scheduled at both jobs for like 40 hours in TWO FUCKING DAYS! Preschool job Thurs and Friday 8:30-5:30 then deli job 6-Close..we close at 3 in the am and often get off work at 5! So tomorrow (Thursday) I am to work until 5:30 then hop on the bus and go directly to deli job then work til 5 then go to be for an hour and a half, wake up go to preschool job and then directly to deli? And work Saturday, mind you.
Impossible. I am not (despite how bad my face is breaking out right now. Bitches. Or the fact my parents live in a trailer) a meth head.
I think I'm gonna hafta pretend my grandpa died and call in sick on Friday to preschool job in order to work at deli. I don't have any grandpas so it should be easy to fake mourn a made up grandpa?
This working two jobs bullshit better be worth it.

         Adorable picture of pig cat Moo to cheer me up..

Smoochybears.

Whoa. Everything is comin' up roses, ya'll. Besides school trying to fuck me over. But I will go visit with them on Tuesday. I will dress non slutty and be extremely cheerful and understanding. That is the ONLY way to handle the financial aid department at MCTC.
I am really enjoying the deli job. I seriously have a million laughs. The work is physically draining. Standing on your feet for like 11 hours straight isn't the most awesome and the working until 5 in the morning sucks dick but I have a lot of fun and it's so stress free compared to working with toddlers and teachers.
I have really been craving cigarettes,though. The deli also sells a cheesecake that I want to take home and make love to. Me and my gluttony.
I heard from a co worker that an ex boyfriend of mine works at the bar closest to my house that I've never been to. Because it is pretty mullet friendly. I wonder if he would want to see me. I'm kinda taking it as a sign that I should go see him. It could be horrible or it could be fantastic.
My landlord smokes so much that my apartment constantly reeks of cigs. That's prob why I've been craving them.
I think I am gonna sweet talk the lord of the land into letting me paint. For that I will for sure have to show some cleavage. Cleavage makes him very uncomfortable and agreeable.

Me and Moocifer enjoy a cuddle.

Smellin like sandwiches.

This picture has nothing to do with this post. But look at hims! Hims cute!

 It is hard for me not to be bitter about people I know that are lucky enough to have parents to loan or give
them money.I mostly get angry because the friends I have that do get money from the parentals are kinda assholes. I feel that if you are an asshole you shouldn't get free money.
I have to work at a preschool AND a fucking deli to pay my bills because my parents are poorer than me.
Sometimes I want to be like "Parents. I just want you to know that you pretty much fucked me over when you decided to not ever become rich or even middle class"..
But coming from a poor background gives me a lot of street cred. I impress people with stories of poverty and hardship..especially since now I am such a prissy ass bitch.
Working hard does make me a stronger person. I totally believe that.
I hope those fucks that get free money put their parents in some classy nursing home. You know, one that doesn't smell like death, canary poop and old people piss..

Honeycakes.

I think I am gonna love or at least like the new job. Old job still sucks a fat one. I should look for a jobby at another preschool but I like the fact that where I work is a "back up" center..which means people bring their kidlets there whenever their usual caregiver fails them by being closed or on maternity leave etc...
Whatves.
After deli working I met K Sauce and Dr Random for some drinks at the Herkimer. We then went to Jason and Kate's where we found an extremely drunk brother and Jason..They had a "Wizard Staff" party where they duct taped PBR cans on top of each other to resemble the staff of a wizard.
Today was spent babysitting and going to "church" (Green Mill happy hour) and having a water balloon fight.

Friday I was sad and dramatic.
Saturday things were looking better.
Sunday everything will be just fine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kCoZls-DTg&feature=autofb

Whoa.

Holy fucksauce party peeps. I got off work at midnight..came home, ate more cookies, texted late night friends and took a Zyrtec..Dude! I slept the sleep of the dead and drugged up til 2:20pm!
Where the hell did my day go? Oh. That's right. I was dreaming of making sandwiches and house fires..
F you Zyrtec! I am NEVER taking you again!
I could of slept longer but when I checked the time I pretty much fell out of bed. Now I am groggy as fuck. Thank BuddhaBabyJesus that I have been making the iced coffee concentrate recipe I found a long time ago from How About Orange..here's the iced coffee recipe...Make it. So easy. So wonderful. So magical.
Now I am a puddle of flesh on the couch. I work at 6pm. Ugh.
Work shmerk.
                                           Here is a picture of Moo workin'

First Day at Second Job.

Fucking sucked, At first. At first I wanted to give up. But then I remembered giving up is for pussies so Itried to make the best of it. I felt so awkward. That is what made it suck so bad..was that I felt so awkward..but I know I am super sensitive and have made many Anti Jenny ideas swirl in my head and they were unfounded. That makes me sound like I have a personality disorder..
The people I work with are cool. And I work with like 4 people I had worked with 5 years ago. Going back to a job that provides more bad memories than good is the hardest thing I have had to do in 2010.
But I am grateful to have two jobs. I am stoked that I will be rolling in the dough.
I got a good lead on a new cheap apartment. Karla wants to check them out too..and Leah already lives there. Karla said it would be a "cat lady community"..
I did get hit on in the store and flirted with on the phone. I am awesome at customer service. I really am. I can fake happy and enthusiasm like a motherfucker.
I am gonna miss my kitties with all this working.

Buying Ass Bitch.

Man, I love to swear.

Here are things that as soon as I can lift the shopping ban I will joyfully purchase...

New smells. 

New glasses!

Pretty sure I want every single one.

Shoesies

I would look hot as hell in this dress. Fact.
Blue floral and cheap? Gimme.
I am obsessed with floral maxi dresses.
Imagine that I have a golden fake tan.
Steve Madden kills me sometimes.
Sometimes cheesy. But gems can be found.

There is a ton more shiz I would love buy but looking for stuff gave me a boner for shopping so its best I don't continue. 

I love shopping. I love it so bad. Shopping loves me too, I can tell by the way it looks at me..

Hey. Can you eat some shit please?

 It has been rainy in Minneapolis for what seems like months. I like rain. But this is worthless cold ass rain. My allergies get really bad when it rains. Serious. I don't know why and nobody believes me. Boofuckinghoo. This nonstop rainy weather plus my current financial situation makes for a very grumpy girl. And by grumpy I mean bitchy. And by bitchy I mean raging Cbag..Yesterday I was walking, late for work all Benadryled up and this HUGE old guy decided as he blows his nose into a giant hankie he is gonna not look down at the little people and walked into me. Normally, I would just give him a tight smile and have mean eyes but this time I shouted " What the FUCK?" at him and scampered off..
Two girls at my work make me want to bite their heads off and spit them out. At their now headless bodies writhing on the floor in a pool of blood..
My current financial situation is to blame for my pissy attitude. Normally, I am quite positive and approach things that anger me with a bemused, sarcastic attitude..

I don't know when the fuck I am gonna start second job. The owner is flaky as fuck. Me and the Tick are going to donate plasma today. I don't mind being poor but I HATE worrying about paying rent. That is my big worry. That my rent won't get paid and I will get evicted. My landlord hates me because he hates women and he wants to move into my apartment when our lease is up.
I have places to go if that happens but would really rather not deal with moving for no reason and couch hopping with my kitty loves would suck balls.
I am taking the steps to improve my life (second job, applying for a full time position at my teaching job, budgeting, donating plasma, babysitting) so everything will work out but in the meantime I will complain via a blog I haven't told anybody I write.

A girl can dream.

All images from Cliche

Le sigh.
I'm on a shopping ban. Big time. So there goes a stunning new summer wardrobe destined to win me so many approving nods and phone numbers from bearded hotties riding fixed gears.
My favorite places to shop for clothes and shoes are Target, Urban shmurban Outfitters, Forever21, H&M and various other places too numerous to mention.
My goal inside my head is to shop more locally at such boutiques as Cliche and secondhand stores. I have been beyond obsessed with florals lately. I have a tendency to dress like a slutty old lady so imagine my glee when florals started popping up everywhere! Eek!
It's a shame it will get too warm for tights. I will have to bare leg it. I HATE my bare ass legs. My calves are super meaty, pale and always banged up.
But I am 30 yrs old now and being 30 yrs old means not caring so much about what people think. I think.
I just hate being self conscious. The only remedy for that is booze.
Every time I go out with bare meat logs I need to be drunk? Hmm. Curious idea.

The post where I confess to needing two jobs.

I got 3 hours of sleep last night. But I functioned better than when I get the recommended.
I work at a preschool downtown. Barely. For the past two months I've been scheduled one or two days a week. I stick with it because they LOVE me there and I will be going full time for the summah.
Sooo I decided I would go crawling back to the hipster ran sub shop I worked at 5 years ago. 5 years ago at that same sub shop I decided I needed to go to college or I would die.
5 years later I'm still in college for a 2 year Child Development degree that can go fuck itself.
I need mo' money because the lease for me and Deerticks shithole apartment with shithole neighbor/landlord is up at the end of August. I'm not living with my brother again. Long story but it involves him being a drunkie drunk and having a bitchy girlfriend. Huh. Guess it wasn't a long story.
I need to get my finances in order and save so much money. Fuck my life. I signed up at http://www.mint.com/ for some financial planning and budgeting. Budget shmudgets.
It will all work out.
I'm excited for apartment hunting but not for moving. Moving blows. I think I may hire someone to do it for me.
Anyway, hope your Monday didn't suck balls.