Uh. What?

In the past couple days, it has been determined that my roommate has some asshole tendencies. Fuck that shit. I want to move out so bad..and I could move in with my bro and his gf (I used to hate her but now I love her, also remember that Guns and Roses song?) but my cats are dicks and they have a dog named Moose and a cat named Monster...my kitten babies can just fucking deal with it if it has to happen...Being a parent is hard. Especially to two dickhead cats.
I wish I could move far away from Mn..somewhere warm and where people care about fashion...
I sometimes wish I would of just sold out and married to whoever loved me and farted out four kids but then I think that is not who I am..I am not a kid yeller sweatpants wearer...
But I  better get off (heehee) the internet because my room is so messy, I've lost my house key..

Music and Moo.

I finally found my camera battery charger thingie! I seem to have this problem a lot.
Here are some songs I am just loving lately...

Iggy Pop "Candy" My new favorite friend Sarah and I have high hopes of performing this song...
Tiga "What You Need" Chromeo Remix This song makes me want to dance so hard...
Bruno Mars "Grenade" I can't even tell you all the reasons I love this song..
Mapei "Leader of the Pack" I wish I made music. Sigh.

Catching you all up.

I hadn't realized I sucked at blogging so much. I ignore a lot of shit. My life has changed dramatically. I can't even begin. I only work the one job at the deli. I gave up on college. I gave up on being a teacher. But I have been having way more fun. Living my life. I struggle with what the fuck I should do with my life. I just experienced deja vu. I'm not even kidding.
I mostly just want to be famous and do a bunch of coke by an indoor pool in my kick ass mansion.

Garbage.

          Mickey is makin' a face because he is disgusted that he has to sleep on top of Mama's crap! 
    
The past two days I have found two chairs in need of fixin' in an alley. What's that you say? I'm the bomb? You're right.
I worked 68 hours this week but next week I only work 60 and I have the weekend off! To go camping! Yucko. I pretty much HATE camping but its my friends 30th birthday and him and his girl love nature. I just hope to get wasted and possibly groped near a tree.
I need to get my hair done so bad...I haven't any time! I might have to color it myself again. I got some grey's ya'll. I was the receiver of grey hairs for my 25th birthday. Another reason why I don't believe in the God.
Anyhoo, I should sign off cuz the crib is a MESS. As is my life.
Smooches! 

He said YES.

Ol' Rajiv the landlord said I COULD paint "some of tha rooms" which I turned in my head to "all of the rooms". Boner city. Population: Me.
I cannot wait!
Also, Scotty will be here Thursday to talk about our roommate sitch.
Secret Spillage: I have a crush on one of my coworkers.

Whoa. Moo is trippin on some acid. But not that mushroom tea that makes you eat people.

My day kicked my ass with a whole bunch of weapons..

Tomorrow will be better. I mean duh. It has to. Anyhoo, I'm not feelin' like gettin' all deep, so here are some afuckingdorable pictures of my cats.

Moo is not dead but I hate my life anyway.

    Moo is not dead but looks pissed that I would ever suggest such a thing. Sorry BoiBoi. 

 Remember when I complained about how much I have to work? Well, last night I went to bed at 9 all responsible like...and woke up at 3:20 in the morning because I was worried Moo was dead because he hadn't slept with me all night! Highly unusual. And because I had weird dreams involving 3 friends, and a 7th grade Social Studies teacher. The scenario was that I FORGOT I HAD TO WORK and drank liquid Tylenol Pm's, which isn't even invented as far as I know but should be.
It is now 5:48 in the morning. I tried going back to sleep. No such luck.
FUCK YOU BRAIN!

I'm just warning you...

That I might go crazy. I am scheduled at both jobs for like 40 hours in TWO FUCKING DAYS! Preschool job Thurs and Friday 8:30-5:30 then deli job 6-Close..we close at 3 in the am and often get off work at 5! So tomorrow (Thursday) I am to work until 5:30 then hop on the bus and go directly to deli job then work til 5 then go to be for an hour and a half, wake up go to preschool job and then directly to deli? And work Saturday, mind you.
Impossible. I am not (despite how bad my face is breaking out right now. Bitches. Or the fact my parents live in a trailer) a meth head.
I think I'm gonna hafta pretend my grandpa died and call in sick on Friday to preschool job in order to work at deli. I don't have any grandpas so it should be easy to fake mourn a made up grandpa?
This working two jobs bullshit better be worth it.

         Adorable picture of pig cat Moo to cheer me up..

My Dear Sweet Mickey Moo.

Please stop crawling on Mama with your fat crusty ass at 5 in the a.m. when Mama has to get up at 6 in the a.m..
Mama doesn't bother you when you are sleeping, you cat bastard. Well, sometimes she does. Sometimes Mama likes to call your name or shake the treat jar when you are snoring because the sight of you jumping  up and jiggling as you frantically run is hilarious. But my little muffin of cat, Mama has to sleep so she can work two jobs to pay for your fucking diabetic ass to eat your goddamned Fancy Feast and take naps all day on her beautiful comforter.
Mama loves you.
Now Mama feels bad because she just watched you miscalculate your jump onto the couch, and it looked like it hurt..my poor beebee!  

Meow Meow is a dirty butter licker.

Today, I felt like cooking. I have been eating sandwiches and drinking coffee for way too long. I will always love a sandwich. I spied a recipe for Vegetarian Shepard's Pie a long time ago and have wanted to make it. I love me some Shepard's pie. I used to be a Vegetarian for years..but now I eat mostly vegetarian. I can't handle cooking meat but I will eat the fuck out of it if we are in a restaurant or at your house. 'Cept for pork and beef. Ew and yuck .
Here is the recipe Vegetarian Shepard's Pie I added more peas and less onion. And I chop things real lazy like. It was delish! Way too heavy for summer eatin' but yumtastic all the same.
I also made those Peanut Buttah Cookies again. By accident. I was going to make some peanut butter bars but was looking at the wrong page and had to move forward with the cookies again. This time I added more PB so that I can continue getting chubbier. Me and my goals. I haven't any pictures because my camera battery charger is still missing so here is MooBoiBoi instead.

Homeward bound. Not at all like the Simon and Garfunkel song.

                                      Dick in a box. Because he later ate too much catnip and pissed in it. 

Where in the goddamn hell is my camera battery charger? I'm dying! I'm dying because I can't find it! I have been organizing and rearranging this house like a biznitch and can't show ya'll any pictures of anything. Sob. I even have missed out on ultra adorable cat pictures.
I have so many plans for this crib. Hopefully, my would be roomie doesn't flake out on me and I'm forced to move last minute.
I am homeward bound because I haven't any motivation to go anywhere these past couple of days. Yesterday, I had the day off and I spent it in silence with the groggiest of brains. Effin allergies.
Today I am more motivated. This house is closing in on me. With all its clutter and poorly painted walls.
I know what would make me feel better. A party! A party full of treats and boozy bevs!
In the meantime if you live in the Mpls area. Contact me. So I can unload my crap upon you.

This is just too funny to me.

Thanks to this website..Befunky.. I can exploit Meow And Moo even more! Cackle!

NOTHING is funnier than seeing pictures of your cats cartooned at 1:30 in the am. Disclaimer: I am totally sober.

It's fun to do for like 5 minutes and then

you realize it would be more fun if you

paid for the membership. I already

spend enough time on this devilbox as

it is...so no paid for fun, for this girl..

Smoochybears.

Whoa. Everything is comin' up roses, ya'll. Besides school trying to fuck me over. But I will go visit with them on Tuesday. I will dress non slutty and be extremely cheerful and understanding. That is the ONLY way to handle the financial aid department at MCTC.
I am really enjoying the deli job. I seriously have a million laughs. The work is physically draining. Standing on your feet for like 11 hours straight isn't the most awesome and the working until 5 in the morning sucks dick but I have a lot of fun and it's so stress free compared to working with toddlers and teachers.
I have really been craving cigarettes,though. The deli also sells a cheesecake that I want to take home and make love to. Me and my gluttony.
I heard from a co worker that an ex boyfriend of mine works at the bar closest to my house that I've never been to. Because it is pretty mullet friendly. I wonder if he would want to see me. I'm kinda taking it as a sign that I should go see him. It could be horrible or it could be fantastic.
My landlord smokes so much that my apartment constantly reeks of cigs. That's prob why I've been craving them.
I think I am gonna sweet talk the lord of the land into letting me paint. For that I will for sure have to show some cleavage. Cleavage makes him very uncomfortable and agreeable.

Me and Moocifer enjoy a cuddle.

Gangsta Rap.

Meow Meow laying on my old coat with Mickey Moo enjoying a rest in the window. This is the closest I have seen them get to each other in years.
They both have been obsessed with me lately.
Also, what is those black cords doing hanging in front of the window? 

Smellin like sandwiches.

This picture has nothing to do with this post. But look at hims! Hims cute!

 It is hard for me not to be bitter about people I know that are lucky enough to have parents to loan or give
them money.I mostly get angry because the friends I have that do get money from the parentals are kinda assholes. I feel that if you are an asshole you shouldn't get free money.
I have to work at a preschool AND a fucking deli to pay my bills because my parents are poorer than me.
Sometimes I want to be like "Parents. I just want you to know that you pretty much fucked me over when you decided to not ever become rich or even middle class"..
But coming from a poor background gives me a lot of street cred. I impress people with stories of poverty and hardship..especially since now I am such a prissy ass bitch.
Working hard does make me a stronger person. I totally believe that.
I hope those fucks that get free money put their parents in some classy nursing home. You know, one that doesn't smell like death, canary poop and old people piss..

Whoa.

Holy fucksauce party peeps. I got off work at midnight..came home, ate more cookies, texted late night friends and took a Zyrtec..Dude! I slept the sleep of the dead and drugged up til 2:20pm!
Where the hell did my day go? Oh. That's right. I was dreaming of making sandwiches and house fires..
F you Zyrtec! I am NEVER taking you again!
I could of slept longer but when I checked the time I pretty much fell out of bed. Now I am groggy as fuck. Thank BuddhaBabyJesus that I have been making the iced coffee concentrate recipe I found a long time ago from How About Orange..here's the iced coffee recipe...Make it. So easy. So wonderful. So magical.
Now I am a puddle of flesh on the couch. I work at 6pm. Ugh.
Work shmerk.
                                           Here is a picture of Moo workin'

First Day at Second Job.

Fucking sucked, At first. At first I wanted to give up. But then I remembered giving up is for pussies so Itried to make the best of it. I felt so awkward. That is what made it suck so bad..was that I felt so awkward..but I know I am super sensitive and have made many Anti Jenny ideas swirl in my head and they were unfounded. That makes me sound like I have a personality disorder..
The people I work with are cool. And I work with like 4 people I had worked with 5 years ago. Going back to a job that provides more bad memories than good is the hardest thing I have had to do in 2010.
But I am grateful to have two jobs. I am stoked that I will be rolling in the dough.
I got a good lead on a new cheap apartment. Karla wants to check them out too..and Leah already lives there. Karla said it would be a "cat lady community"..
I did get hit on in the store and flirted with on the phone. I am awesome at customer service. I really am. I can fake happy and enthusiasm like a motherfucker.
I am gonna miss my kitties with all this working.

My bedroom. A story with no ending.

For these chairs..My friend Erin gave them to me for free..she had found them and had every intention of making them over but gave up..
We tried selling them at the yard sale. Some lady that was huge and wearing kelly green sweatpants with a mustache balked when I told her the price was 2 dollars per chair..she heaved herself back into her minivan..I didn't know how dirty they were and Erin had left for the longest liquor store run ever..I'm glad I was stupid though because now these chairs are mine! I want to redo one for living/dining room and one for my cat lady bedroom. I am on the hunt for fabric! I checked out Crafty Planet which is near Kristen's crib..I need to check out everything in person. I am also gonna check out the secondhand shops and yard sales for some gems.

vintage bedspread with vintage Moo

My bedroom is pink,yellow, grey,brown and white..I got the bedding from DwellStudio at Target..I love it so much. In all the years I have been a' living on my own I have NEVER had the bedroom I wanted. I thought green and yellow with white? Nope. Brown birds(more DwellStudio) but the blanket caught fire in the dryer, then mustard yella with turquoise? Nope. I even painted furniture turquoise and am in the process of painting it white. I bought a mint green and peach vintage bedspread and was gonna go that route but could find nothing to match! Most of the problems stemmed from the fact that I have shared bedrooms with 4 boyfriends. I know. What a whore. I tried ti keep their dudeness in mind and now as a single lady I am all "fuck you" I want a bedroom that is beautiful and feminine because I am a LADY!

I have kinda put a hold on this bedroom redo, because I will be moving soon and my current bedroom is so fucked. No closet just two huge unmatching broken ass wardrobes that are barely functional and a Malm dresser. All my landlords. Plus my bed, my dresser and one teeny nightstand. I get claustrophobic. I have been sleeping on the couch because my room is so messy and closing in on me..
Stay tuned for bedroom updates as I will be trying to find and fix things before the BIG MOVE (read in a deep announcer type voice)

Moo Moo! You're gross!

Sigh.

My life can suck a dick right now. I am more screwed than I thought. Thankfully, I have friends like Kristen and Miles to help me feel better.
We had planned on going toArt O Whirl tonight but turns out this evening was just for nerds. And not ironic nerds either. We met their friends Luke and Jess and dog Daisy..Jess and Luke have the cutest house in Northeast. It was built in 1912 and was so awesome. I was totally jealous and told them so like 12 times. I wish I could take pictures. The bathrooms! To die for! The black leather inherited from grandma mid century couch!
Mickey Moo smells so bad right now. Like dead rotting fish that have been left in a pile to rot and the pile is constantly added to with more dead rotting nasty ass fish..and then somebody pooped near the pile of dead stinkin' fish guts..and the poop bakes in the hot sun adding to the smell..That's what MM's breath smells like .I would shove his nastiness away but I just got home after being gone for awhile and Mama feels bad for her babykittyheart but damn he stinks!
Anyhoo, after hanging with Jess, Luke and Daisy we went back to the crib and just talked and talked..and watched AFV..Miles kinda snoozed as Miles is wont to do..
Mickey just burped and the mushroom cloud of stink just made me seriously gag.
I can't write anymore. Dammit Moo.
Yard Sale tomorrow. Yay?