Sunday, June 27, 2010


Hey ya'll.
This week was mostly bad with a glimmer here and there of gold. Heard the word that people be talkin' shit..became INFURIATED and then sad and all My So Called Life...I think it was a combination of over tiredness and bleeding from my vagina that made me so 90's...then I realized errbody be talking shit, myself  included so I had to get over it. For now.

Look at this brother with tha glasses making funny faces. Miles has drunk face. And you can kinda tell why my dress was so slutty. Look at it!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Hey Guts.

You should of seen what I MISTAKENLY wore to the birthday/camping party! Slutty! Embarrassing!

Um. I haven't blogged in awhile and I hope you are not dead.
Life is so much better. My life in 2010 has sucked big, huge, fucking balls but it has also been the funnest.
I have a lot of catching up to do with you, drollgirl my one beautiful reader..
I went camping. I am finely feeling like I have money.
I love both my jobs.
I am either losing or gaining weight.Hopefully the former. I can't decide.
I think I might buy a pool. Nothing fancy.
But anyhoo, there is cold pizza in the fridge I have to make sweet love to soooo later...

Saturday, June 12, 2010


          Mickey is makin' a face because he is disgusted that he has to sleep on top of Mama's crap! 
The past two days I have found two chairs in need of fixin' in an alley. What's that you say? I'm the bomb? You're right.
I worked 68 hours this week but next week I only work 60 and I have the weekend off! To go camping! Yucko. I pretty much HATE camping but its my friends 30th birthday and him and his girl love nature. I just hope to get wasted and possibly groped near a tree.
I need to get my hair done so bad...I haven't any time! I might have to color it myself again. I got some grey's ya'll. I was the receiver of grey hairs for my 25th birthday. Another reason why I don't believe in the God.
Anyhoo, I should sign off cuz the crib is a MESS. As is my life.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I'm a dirty Twitterer now.

But I ain't no Ashton Kutcher! I just figured twittering is good for my business. Just kidding. I don't have a business. I also have a new gmailio for this herre case anyone wants to send me nudies. SlimeyPants
Your friend Jen.

Monday, June 7, 2010

He said YES.

Ol' Rajiv the landlord said I COULD paint "some of tha rooms" which I turned in my head to "all of the rooms". Boner city. Population: Me.
I cannot wait!
Also, Scotty will be here Thursday to talk about our roommate sitch.
Secret Spillage: I have a crush on one of my coworkers.

Whoa. Moo is trippin on some acid. But not that mushroom tea that makes you eat people.


 I have something huge and itchy on the side of my face. It's like a bug bite. I am worried that when I was sleeping like a little baby angel that a spider put her babies under my skin. This is a fear of mine.

Also, this picture makes me look like poop. But look at that! Spider babies! 

I have been having the most fun at the Deli. So many laughs. Like nonstop. I got drunk with some of the work peeps. We got off work at like 5 in the mornin' and then we drank until 11. It was weird going home wasted when people were doing yard work and heading to church. It wasn't so weird that I would never do it again, though.
Of course I was hungover when I had to work again. Puke city. Drunk people shouldn't eat mashed potatoes with siracha and veggie burgers before bed. You puke up chunks.
My house is an effing mess from me workin' so much and my brother being brainwashed into captivity by his psycho as fuck girlfriend.
 Here is a Facebook post she recently wrote..bear in mind he was working?!

 "where are you? you haven't answered my calls or text or emails. what the hell tick? I am gonna cheat on you soon if you don't reply!"  

Here is a picture of my messy ass kitchen. 

The transvestite across the street has the most horrible fashion sense. She wears the ugliest of clothes and made herself the smallest of boobs. It's not like I expect her to be all drag queen but you would think she wouldn't want to dress like she's 90. 
This is totally a random ass post. 

Friday, June 4, 2010

My day kicked my ass with a whole bunch of weapons..

Tomorrow will be better. I mean duh. It has to. Anyhoo, I'm not feelin' like gettin' all deep, so here are some afuckingdorable pictures of my cats.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Moo is not dead but I hate my life anyway.

    Moo is not dead but looks pissed that I would ever suggest such a thing. Sorry BoiBoi. 

 Remember when I complained about how much I have to work? Well, last night I went to bed at 9 all responsible like...and woke up at 3:20 in the morning because I was worried Moo was dead because he hadn't slept with me all night! Highly unusual. And because I had weird dreams involving 3 friends, and a 7th grade Social Studies teacher. The scenario was that I FORGOT I HAD TO WORK and drank liquid Tylenol Pm's, which isn't even invented as far as I know but should be.
It is now 5:48 in the morning. I tried going back to sleep. No such luck.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

View from the Couch.

Uh. Found my camera battery charger. It was pretty much in front of my Jalapeño chip eating face the whole time.
Here are some pictures of what I have been doing BESIDES eating Jalapeño chips and feeling sorry for myself.
Got rid of faux bois crap tv stand. Using Ikea TV stand as a TV stand. It was formerly being used as coffee table. So I most def need a new coffee table! Don't fail me Craigslist!  Meow Meow is just the cutest, isn't she?The pile of shiz next to kitchen cart is all donations, babes. You can really see the wall colors. Try not to puke. Why did my Grandma give me another TV when I don't watch television? I now own three TV's. Also, these were all taken by me as I lay on the couch. Can't move.

I'm just warning you...

That I might go crazy. I am scheduled at both jobs for like 40 hours in TWO FUCKING DAYS! Preschool job Thurs and Friday 8:30-5:30 then deli job 6-Close..we close at 3 in the am and often get off work at 5! So tomorrow (Thursday) I am to work until 5:30 then hop on the bus and go directly to deli job then work til 5 then go to be for an hour and a half, wake up go to preschool job and then directly to deli? And work Saturday, mind you.
Impossible. I am not (despite how bad my face is breaking out right now. Bitches. Or the fact my parents live in a trailer) a meth head.
I think I'm gonna hafta pretend my grandpa died and call in sick on Friday to preschool job in order to work at deli. I don't have any grandpas so it should be easy to fake mourn a made up grandpa?
This working two jobs bullshit better be worth it.
         Adorable picture of pig cat Moo to cheer me up..

My Dear Sweet Mickey Moo.

Please stop crawling on Mama with your fat crusty ass at 5 in the a.m. when Mama has to get up at 6 in the a.m..
Mama doesn't bother you when you are sleeping, you cat bastard. Well, sometimes she does. Sometimes Mama likes to call your name or shake the treat jar when you are snoring because the sight of you jumping  up and jiggling as you frantically run is hilarious. But my little muffin of cat, Mama has to sleep so she can work two jobs to pay for your fucking diabetic ass to eat your goddamned Fancy Feast and take naps all day on her beautiful comforter.
Mama loves you.
Now Mama feels bad because she just watched you miscalculate your jump onto the couch, and it looked like it poor beebee!  

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Dreamy homes.

As I clean, organize and redecorate I have been internetting for inspiration. All the blogs I read have been super helpful.
Here is a list of me faves. There are a TON more I look at but I am the laziest of wanna be bloggers..
The Brick House
Forever Is Today
Making It Lovely
For Me For You
Heart of Light

Source: Apartment Therapy

                        Source: I forget. Please let me know.


Babydolls! I won something! A vintage Japanese Arrowstone Coffee Set from DeeDee 9:14!!!!!! I love that Dee!
I am so excited! I seriously almost cried. Seriously. I am the happiest of happys.